


again and again

by orphan_account



Series: Fill the Void [34]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Minecraft, YDYD AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23682838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Grief was a complicated process and Michael was simply going through the motions at his own pace.
Relationships: Gavin Free/Michael Jones
Series: Fill the Void [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663750
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	again and again

Michael didn’t know how much time he spent gathering rocks from the river bed, but it was long enough for his arms to fall absolutely numb. He gathered up enough rocks for the pyre.

“You don’t have to do this on your own,” Jeremy said, watching as Michael continued to ferry the rocks to and fro.

“I know,” Michael said. “But I feel like I have to, you know? I feel like this is something I need to do.”

So Jeremy let him. It was odd for Michael to be so silent, to be stuck in this melancholy. He expected something else in Michael at this point after losing the two most important people to hi. And with Gavin’s circumstances, Ryan’s betrayal—he simply expected more out of him at this point. Rage. He could handle the rage, even tears if it came to it. Anything but this strange sense of detachment and calm. Like he skipped all the other stages of grief and moved straight on to acceptance. 

It was something Michael and Michael alone needed to do. This was his grieving process. Lay out the body, build the pyre, create some sort of permanent marker so that he could remember Gavin in some way.

Once the pyre was built Michael nodded and decided to set out. He had done what he needed to do. So he turned his back on the pyre and headed straight f or the woods. Jeremy took that as his cue and followed him.

“The house is in the other direction,” he says.

“I know.”

“I’m not going to leave you behind,” he says.

“I know.”

“I’m here for when you need me,” he says.

“I know.”

So Michael walked and Jeremy followed and they walked for some time.

Michael didn’t know if he could describe what it was that he was feeling. After losing Lindsay and now Gavin, what else did he really have? This was to be their fresh start, leaving behind the drama and theatrics of their old home and getting back to the basics, picking up a few stragglers on the way. It was supposed to be good.

Lindsay’s death was that of nature. It was a risk they all had to take every time they stepped out the front door. They lived in the wilds. Monsters were everyone. But Michael never thought that one of their own could do something like this.

The arrow had come from nowhere and they were up in the trees trying to find their way out the thick jungle. Michael hadn’t believed it at first because it had happened without warning. Gavin was there one moment and then he was gone the next, crashing down through the tall trees onto the ground below. And when Gavin didn’t move, didn’t make a sound, Michael had known that something terrible had happened.

He had recognized the arrow because Ryan had a peculiar way of fletching his arrows. He often scored them with three rings near the arrow head, and wouldn’t you know it, that arrow was sticking out of Gavin’s chest.

Jeremy had gone after him in a rage, but wherever Ryan was, he had left soon after the incident, and Michael had been left to clean up his mistake.

They walked for a long time, walked until Jeremy thought they were utterly lost. He followed Michael because Michael needed him and he didn’t want to see him wither away from grief. They were in this until the end.

Eventually, Michael came to a stop. They had climbed a rocky outcropping that led them out of the trees. There Michael came to the edge of the cliff and sat with his legs dangling over the edge. Jeremy was only slightly concerned at the sight, feeling like he had to sit within arm’s length and pull Michael back from the edge so to speak if he were to just tip over.

The sun was starting to set at that point. They needed to get into the trees if they were going to survive the night, but Michael clearly wanted to sit and ruminate and Jeremy was loath to disturb him.

The land extended for endless miles where they were, up high where they could see the mountains, the rivers, the ocean at a distance, and the small settlements that they often traded with. If they tried hard enough, they could possibly see home.

“It wasn’t his time, you know?” Michael said. He had been silent nearly all day, so it was a bit of surprise to Jeremy to hear his voice at fist.

“I know,” Jeremy said.

“And it’s like … he’s not coming back,” he said. “And that wasn’t supposed to happen! I don’t care what excuse Ryan has. He fucking killed Gavin.”

“I know.”

“Like, wh—what am I supposed to do without Gavin? We were in this together until the end. I was supposed to look after him.”

“You couldn’t have known Ryan would do that,” Jeremy said. The last thing he wanted was for Michael beat himself up over something he couldn’t have foreseen, couldn’t have stopped.

“But I could’ve made sure that Gavin was wearing armour! Or something. I don’t know. I bet there was a lot of shit I could’ve done to keep him alive. Like what were we even doing up there?”

“Trying to sleep through the night,” Jeremy said. “You did what you could. The rest lies all on Ryan.”

Michael huffed and propped his chin up on his palm. They fell silent for a spell.

“There is something we could do,” Jeremy said.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“We go after Ryan. We make him pay.”

Michael turned his body and to a small degree his body in Jeremy’s direction. “How?”

“He’s the reason we had to come here in the first place, right?” he said. “He’s always been a bit suspicious, you know? He _killed_ Gavin. But maybe he was trying to hit me or even you. My point is, Ryan’s not _good._ And we need to stop him before he hurts anyone else. Like Trevor. Or Alfredo.”

Michael began to nod. “Yeah. Yeah, he does.”

“Then let’s go hunt him down.”


End file.
